You've caught the plane home. You've sort of unpacked (aka you unzipped the suitcase and dug through to find your pajamas).
You said your hellos.
What do you do now?
Sleep. Oh sweet blessed sleep.
Coming home from college for the first time was...super weird.
The nonstop, energetic Hope was finally told to stop. So she did.
I could tell my parents were worried that I was depressed or something. All I wanted to do was sleep and read and eat. Leaving the house the first time was a very special occasion.
When I did leave the house, I realized that college is exactly all that they said it was.
A big, beautiful bubble of learning and growth and enthusiasm. The best days of your life.
Then you go back to the "real world".
Everyone is so busy! In college, you are busy too, but you are busy doing what makes you happy. In the "real world"...I don't think people have stopped long enough to figure out what they are busy doing.
At a university, people are seeking: Seeking knowledge, friendship, love, perspectives, beliefs. In the "real world" this seems to go away. I don't know why, but it's really sad.
Also, in the "real world," you can't just hand the barista your student ID and expect to be handed a latte. That's a sad realization.
I am so happy to be home with my family. I desperately needed the rest of being home. It's been amazing to have alone time, to read FOR FUN, to have my mom do my laundry, and to wake up to my dogs licking my face (it's gross, but it's love.)
Since being home, I've definitely noticed that I am not the same as before. People that I hardly know keep telling me that I've changed, and they can't even begin to understand the extent of the change. I'm quieter. I like to think hard before I say anything because I want what I say to mean something. I'm not afraid of having different opinions than others. I'd rather have a meaningful time alone than a meaningless time with people.
My perspective of myself has changed. I have a former foundation of who I am and where I'm going now. I'm a compassionate, honest, and ambitious young woman who is being used by God. I have become very self aware. I recognize my faults and my breaking points. I know when I need rest. I seek out the relationships that I feel are lacking in my life.
My perspectives of others have changed too. I've gained more respect for some and lost some respect for others. I've realized that love is the only social skill necessary. :)
My perspective of God has radically changed. I went to Olivet expecting that God would take away all the old problems. I didn't expect that I wouldn't have new problems, but I thought college would be like a magic eraser of the past. That's not how God works. For some people, He does radical life changing miracles and heals immediately. For others, He promises that healing will come in due time. He asks us to trust His timing. Sometimes that timing could mean in a few years, other times it may not be until we get Heaven! I believe that whatever His timing looks like, it's got an epic reason that I am so excited to be a part of.
Change is scary sometimes but I really LIKE this change!!! And yes, you were all correct, college is the best days of your life. I'll give you that one. ;)
Oh! And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Can we all just take a moment and recognize the extremity of what was done for us the night Jesus was born? God hadn't spoken to His people in 400 years! Have you ever felt like you were out of touch with God? It sucks, right? You doubt His presence, you doubt yourself, you feel abandoned. Imagine 400 years of that. You could go a whole lifetime trying to trust in God when you have never heard Him. But the thing was, even before that, a lot of people weren't hearing from God. The prophets, of course, spoke for God. Some blessed people had visions. But there was no Holy Spirit tugging at your heart or whispering peace into your ear. I don't think people would have understood our concept of a "calling." But then Jesus came and EVERYBODY became capable of speaking with God. He put us all on the same level; He brought equality. Everybody can talk to God now, not just "special" people. This baby gave us the most precious gift in the world: a constant companion, a calling, and a RELATIONSHIP to the God of the universe.
That's some pretty cool stuff right there, people.
I know this blog post was a little scattered, but I just wanted to share my reflections of Christmas break thus far (I go back in less than a week!! Ahhh!) and wish you all a merry little Christmas and happy New Year. God bless this year for each of you!
Final note: set low resolutions and you'll end 2015 feeling like you accomplished a ton!
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