2 Corinthians 4 and My Own Story

I overslept for church again this morning. I've been doing that a lot. So when I finally woke up at 11, I decided to sit down at the table, finish a Bible app plan that I should have finished months ago, and eat a slice of chocolate cheesecake. 

In my reading, I came across these verses which I have heard and sang probably a hundred times.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 NIV

This morning, these verses meant so much to me. YES. This is where I am at today. 

I have struggled with severe anxiety and depression since my junior year of high school. There have been periods of times when I have been better, been fine, even. And there are periods of time, like lately, when it hits me again in full force and there isn't much I can do. I take the necessary steps...I see doctors, go to counseling, try to stay in the Word the best I can. But sometimes, those things don't make it any easier. Sometimes I just hurt. 

I have felt crushed, in despair, abandoned, and destroyed. Sometimes I feel these things every day. 

But feeling does not equate with being. While I may feel that I have nothing left to keep moving for and that nothing good is left in the world, I do not believe those feelings. 

What I love about these verses is that it doesn't tell you not to feel pain or despair. In fact, it says that yes, we are pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. Sometimes it seems like Christians feel this need to lie about their pain and slap on a happy face. That is not what this verse is telling us to do. It is simply reminding us that this is not the end...we have hope. I'm blessed that Hope is my name.

This pain, which can be like hell on earth (lets not sugar coat things here), will not last forever. If I believe in the eternal bliss I am promised by Jesus, I am not crushed, in despair, abandoned, or destroyed. I have something to keep living for. 

Depression is hard. But I am still going forward today because I believe in this verse despite my feelings of despair. 

For those reading this who struggle with depression or other mental illness, take heart. I am by no means saying you won't stop feeling despair if you believe in this verse, but you will KNOW the reality that there is still hope. 

For those of you reading this that are Christians who hold on to the believe that mental illness is a spiritual issue, I encourage you to reexamine this belief. Getting up and continuing each day takes a massive amount of faith for someone struggling with depression. Faith that there is a God who will provide a better someday. Depression is NOT a lack of faith. Living with depression is a VICTORY of faith. 

Thoughts to ponder.